"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
