Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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