Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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