So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
