But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Everything about him screamed your future.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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