i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize