i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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