whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
