i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
