I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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