The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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