i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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