Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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