its not stalking. its research.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
