Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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