I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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