What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
How many fucks given?
0.12846
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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