bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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