If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
