just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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