the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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