hotel room ftw
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
