Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
