It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
organizing the empties. That sober.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
