I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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