I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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