I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
