you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
