Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
