She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize