I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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