Jerry, you need to find god
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
