Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize