Duck Duck Cougar?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
