i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
