Umm I'm too high to move.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
