I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
