im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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