I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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