Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
