Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
