dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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