Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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