Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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