i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
