i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
