Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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