I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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