I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize