I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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