The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
