Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
