The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
