Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
there's paper in my vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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